Ok, so I'm watching this movie (Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, btw), and for some reason I can't just turn off my head. I came to the re-realization of a pattern, one that has resurfaced again. I don't want what's easy. In fact, I can't stand what's easy. It's nice and all, but it's not for me.
I need to work towards something. If it's just given to me, I almost always instictively move away from it. I know this probably doesn't make a whole lot of sense to anyone but me, but it really explains a lot about something that's been bugging me lately, and I just needed to write it out.
I need challenge. I need strife. I need chaos. Without them, I get bored. When I'm bored, I stagnate. Damn. When I look at “it” this way, it's so plain to see what the problem was, er... is. Now if I can just do something about it.